Give Me My Arm Back!
I know there are many books out there that tell you that in order to bond properly with someone you need to grasp them in a two handed shake rather than the standard handshake. Some even go so far as to recommend grasping the forearm of the person who’s hand you are shaking.
Stop that!
The only time you do a two-handed shake is when the other person initiates and you mirror the behavior. Don’t think I’m going all NLP on you now, because that only works to a point and can seriously hinder you later on (I mean, it’s difficult to pretend to be someone else with everyone!) But if someone is giving you a handshake that eats half of your arm, you need to respond in kind.
If for no other reason that you need to show them that if two people do that it looks like you’re about to start in sumo wrestling. Two hands locked together with the other hands on a forearm. Maybe that looks more like square dancing, now that I’m really picturing it.
Who wants to spend any part of a networking event looking like you’re about to square dance?
The only reason someone is going to grasp your forearm when they shake your hand is to assert dominance. Don’t let them. Doing it right back shows that you are not going to let them steamroll you into buying whatever it is they’re selling.
If you’re the one doing this, think about why you do the super-shake. Is it because a sales book told you to? When was that book published, and when did the person using that technique use it? Was it back in the 80’s when business was an Armani wearing yuppie pissing contest?
If you’re using gimmicks like NLP or forearm-grasping straight out of a book, take a moment and determine the source and the reasons behind the behaviors. It’s the only way you’ll find your networking style, instead of using instructions from a book.
I mean, it’s like trying to sound smart by reciting the encyclopedia to someone. Yes they’re facts the other person doesn’t know…and it might make you sound smart…but you are not going to be the life of anyone’s party.
Image Source: Henkster
Tags: etiquette, General Networking, handshake, saying goodbye, saying helloRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Networking Etiquette
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